i've been torturing myself

i've been looking at some of the flats that i've lived in before in london... rented of course and shared but man... when you look back at some of them I can't imagine how lucky I was to have that experience. It would take a lifetime of insane work to even remotely be able to afford any of them anymore! Best get checking my lotto numbers...

or alternately best set the bar a wee bit lower and give myself a bit of a break.

moving to a quaint little pueblo somehwere has never seemed so appealing... an no, brampton is not considered a pueblo... nice try kj.

un pequeñito por favor

si la persona de Apaseo El Grande quien esta leyendo mi blog al mínimo 5 veces al dia puede contactarme? Estoy segura que conoces algo de Alfredo o eres el... por favor. déjame un comentario con tus datos y podemos hablar??? Se puede ayudar el futuro de una niña inocente que merece seguridad en su pequeña vida.

Gracias.

you know you're in Canada when...

• you turn on the hot tap in a public toilet and hot water actually comes out
• 'small' in most shops is too big...
• you find yourself saying... "my god this simply does not exist in Spain"
• You find yourself saying 100 times a day 'man it's damn cold'
• 21h seems like a reasonable time to go to bed
• 5 am seems like a resonable hour to get up
• They give you food you don't finish when dining out. to 'take home'

that pretty much sums up my reality.

don't get me wrong. the family portion of this stopover is lovely. The rest of it will take some adjusting to.

But explain to me one thing? why is spotify not available here? Is this some cruel torture?

Paging Alfredo "Fredy" Durante

Anyone who reads my blog who knows Alfredo "Fredy" Durante Tejero please have him contact me regarding his whereabouts so I can serve him papers regarding custody of our child.

It's got to be official so here it is on the www.

Life's fun yea?

Well we've just got to roll with it. Get it sorted and move on.

thank you... now back to regular blogging.

it should be...

getting better... things should be starting to feel more positive and move forward and all that. But it's not. My life remains fragmented and my heart feels like it's going to give up.

Day one of holiday

I'm feeling guilty as that's what I do best really... but Sienna started her new school today and I've got one whole week to myself to try and rest and recover from this seemingly never ending ordeal. I think it's been so long in coming that I almost don't even know what to do with myself. You just run on empty for such a long time you forget how to re-fuel. The plan is for now, gym, painting, sleeping and as few life admin things as possible.

I've just finished doing some research through some stock photo sites for inspiration. I found the image i used as a base for the Chiara painting way back when... neat to see the original image and then the end result next to one and other...

I'm mostly...

loving the fact that in Canadialandia I can wear a size 6! Hilarious. I don't quite believe it but we'll roll with it. KJ insighted a great deal of expenditure yesterday which of course today has brought a bit of buyer's remorse but considering that everything was 40% off it could have been a lot worse!

Thanksgiving supper yesterday was a success and Lilli surprisingly didn't have to be quarantined. The girls played together and I think had the best time out of everyone. The exhaustion at the end of the day was apparent for all. Most comically the girls where outside trying out their new hockey sticks. Sienna has a lot of catching up to do in order to become a bit more 'canadian'. I think they look more like they are sweeping rather than playing hockey!



However she wasn't tired enough to sleep in this morning and by half past 7 in the morning she was outside playing with her new sand box that her cousing mark bought for her. She has been spoiled rotten since we arrived. I'm not quite sure she'll ever agree to leave here!



I on the other hand am missing Barcelona dearly. But i know this is the only option for us right now so I need to just focus on getting back on track and moving away from all the harm and negativity that certain parties cast on us. Sometimes time just doesn't tick fast enough and when your heart is somewhere but your body is elsewhere you quickly feel quite disassembled. I'm furiously dreaming about the positive and amazing energies I've been blessed with lately. Dreams dreams and more dreams. They help bridge the gaps. But the butterflies are still there in my tummy. I hope they stay a good long while.